Monologue, to clear my thoughts

Monologue, clear my thoughts 

I'm about to facing another turning point. But right now, I need to stay calm.

Maybe I should rethink myself. I’m sitting in the library, preparing to write the essay assigned as the last assessment. Meanwhile, I'm remembering words from TOEFL and doing reading, listening, writing test, in preparation for
theCET-6. Words will be forgotten, but they’ll be strengthened in mind again after the second meet. Progress is taken step by step and even the detours will shape us too.

What frustrated me is the internship from the ODW. It’s attractive,bringing lots of students around, causing them hanging on, and left relentless.What comfort employers is the thought that we as job applicants won’t limit ourselves
to one job. Of course, it’s a common and secure way. Fortunately, the capability of our engineering students is explicit to measure. If I’m a talent, holding excellent technology, enormous potentiality and ‘wow’ works, employers will be eager to give me job
offers. In a nutshell, I should have achievements inthe field I hope to engage in.

I’ll put down my expectation. But what’s my future? I have to draw a blue print to my future and go forward. What I know now are only trifles to deal with, but in the face of what I really like, I stopped, discouraging myself:”
I’m not the professional one. There must be others better than me.” The implication is that if someone appreciates my ability, he must be blind. Oh my Gosh, How unwise I am to belittle myself. Things actually happen frequently that people who do well in the
field they are not majored in but finally enter the field. How can I be hedged in rules and regulations? My strength, my intelligenceis always better than people around, only because things happened at the wrong time.

Okey, forget the future, right now! Do what I should do. Live in themoment! Try to please employers? That’s suffering.