由退租想到的

因为最近要出长差，赶上租住的房子到期，就想着出差时顺便把房子也给退掉，把生活用品先寄放在同学那里。

又是一轮的打包，这次跟上次刚从学校搬出来时相比，多出了很多东西，比如厨具，比如家具。就想到了电影《Up in the Air》里男主Ryan做演讲时说到那段话：

“——How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you're carrying a backpack. I want you to feel the straps on your shoulders. Feel them?"

OK，当我打包的时候，无论是出差，旅行，或是搬家，都会仔细估计行李的重量，不能太多，也不能太少。这次退租也一样，所有的生活用品里，哪些要保留，哪些要送人，哪些要扔掉，我几乎要一件一件地考虑。

“——Now I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life. You start with the little things, the things on shelves and in drawers, the knickknacks, the collectibles. Feel the weight as that adds up."

我把小物件放入收纳箱，书籍背到公司，想着这些东西的来源，想着这些东西在以后的用途。

"——Then you start adding larger stuff, clothes, tabletop appliances, lamps, linens, your TV. The backpack should be getting pretty heavy now. And you go bigger. Your couch, bed, your kitchen table. Stuff it all in there."

接下来我用压缩袋把被褥和衣服装起来，抽成真空，放进行李箱。但即使这样，还是有很多装不下。然后，我打车把折叠床送到公司，拆掉小桌子，剩的一个书桌太大，只能在后面请同学帮忙来搬。在厨房里放着的，还没动过的食品，几乎已经都送给了表哥，下一次准备把没开封的调味品也送过去。

"——Your car, get it in there. Your home, whether it's a studio apartment or a two-bedroom house. I want you to stuff it all into that backpack."

现在我无房无车，短期内依然会是如此现状，没有安全的庇护，但也没有太大的后顾之忧。但也正因为这样，我才会这样频繁地搬家。

"——Now try to walk. It's kind of hard, isn't it? This is what we do to ourselves on a daily basis. We weigh ourselves down until we can't even move. And make no mistake, moving is living. "

"——Now, I'm gonna set that backpack on fire. What do you want to take out of it? Photos? Photos are for people who can't remember. Drink some ginkgo and let the photos burn. In fact, let everything burn and imagine waking up
tomorrow with nothing. It's kind of exhilarating, isn't it? "

背负太多东西，必然举步维艰；但另一方面，多年的努力，有时候也就是为了多一些家当，怎敢轻言舍弃！

"——Now this's gonna be little difficult, so stay with me. You have a new backpack. Only this time,I want you to fill it with people. Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office and then you move
into the people you trust with, your most secrets, your cousins, your aunts, your uncles, your brother, your sisters, your parents and finally your husband, wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend. And get them into the backpack.

在退休前，一个人的社会关系只会随着阅历的增长越来越多，我们主动或被动地“创造和别人牵绊”，让自己“ 承担流泪的风险”。

"——Don't worry. I'm not gonna ask you to light it on fire. Feel the weight of that bag. Make no mistake, your relationship is the heaviest components in your life. Do you feel the straps cutting into your shoulders? All those
negotiations and arguments and secrets and compromises, you don't need to carry it all that weight. Why don't you set that bag down?"

Ryan乐观地鼓励听众放下生活的包袱，全力追求自己的事业，然而他自己却逃不过感情的劫难，本准备跟心爱的人表白，却发现对方已经有了家庭。原来每个人都有另一面，在不同的场合做着不同的自己，Ryan曾经笃定的价值观，全都在最后化作乌有。原来，人们并不怕缺少爱，只是怕失去爱。

"——Some animals were meant to carry each other, to live symbiotically of a lifetime, star-crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not those animals. Slower we move, the faster we die. We are not swans. We are sharks."

然而，我们不是天鹅，也不是鲨鱼，我们是我们人类自己。“勿爱人，就没有放不下，也就可以肆无忌惮地做自己。”这又是谁的幼稚理论！