Programmers humor 程序员的幽默

Programmers humor

Throughout of my surfing in the web, I often encounter funny jokes about programmers and source code comments, In this post I want to present the top of them, which I liked most.
Here They are, relax and enjoy :)

//
// Dear maintainer:
//
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
//
// total_hours_wasted_here = 16
//

// sometimes I believe compiler ignores all my comments
// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who will
// have to support me and our three children and the dog once it gets
// released into the public.
//When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing
//Now, God only knows
Exception up = new Exception("Something is really wrong.");
throw up; //ha ha
return 1; // returns 1
// I don't know why I need this, but it stops the people being upside-down
x = -x;

#define TRUE FALSE
//Happy debugging suckers

//Dear future me. Please forgive me.
//I can't even begin to express how sorry I am.
//Don't touch it or ninja will punish you
Q: how many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: none, that's a hardware problem

Saying that Java is nice because it works on every OS is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on every gender.

This is classic one :)
Q. Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
A. Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

Q. Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis?
A. Because it is below C level.

Wife: I want a baby
Husband: Ok, I'll install it tonight

Hope you enjoyed it, feel free to leave your jokes in comments